Happy Monday, friends! Thank you ALL for your support on our adoption announcement. I am so, so excited and grateful and scared and — basically, feeling all the emotions! But I keep coming back to gratitude… SO THANKFUL TO BE CHOSEN BY THIS EXPECTANT MOM!! She is truly my hero. I have had a lot of questions surrounding our adoption, so I am going to do my best to answer them here.

Did you experience any infertility that led you to pursue adoption?
I have many, many friends who are suffering from infertility, can’t get pregnant, are experiencing miscarriages or infant loss — even a combination of these things. I have seen people who hadn’t originally thought they would adopt pursue that option experience deep, soul-quenching joy for the gift of adoption. God sometimes takes someone’s suffering and highlights a path they never considered before their trial(s). That is redemption, and it is beautiful. I praise God for the strength He gives those who suffer such grief and then choose a path of brokenness (fostering/adoption). I admire these people greatly!

I honestly cringe a little bit when I get this question. But I get it. To answer the question, at this time we have not experienced infertility, miscarriage, or infant loss.

We want to adopt but feel lost. What is the process? How did you get started?
Basically, in the most basic sense, private adoption happens in phases:

1. Application: Apply to an adoption agency. We chose a local agency that specializes in Christian adoptions that are affordable. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still expensive.
2. Home study: This is an assessment to ensure that an adoptive family is safe for a child to live with. They inspect the house, ask intensive questions about your background and your life, etc. It is uncomfortable but necessary to ensure the safety of children.
3. Matching: Our agency presented a photo book we created to expectant mothers/parents. We were given moderate background information prior and decided before each presentation whether or not we wanted to be presented. Then the expectant mom/parents choose which adoptive family they want to raise their child.
4. Adoption: A day of celebration but also, one of much grief. A child is officially separated from their birth family. An expectant mom/parents give their child to someone else. This is a grieving process for almost everyone involved. This is why it’s important to make sure the birth mom/parents have good, Christian counseling to support them in the months to follow. Much of the costs go to supporting the birth mom/parents.

This is limited to my experience. If you are interested in adoption (YAY!), I recommend contacting a local adoption agency in your area and asking for an application. We received details that were very helpful in making our decision.

How long did the paperwork process take before you were matched?
We started the adoption process around September 2017. Our home study was live starting beginning of December 2018. We were matched Monday, May 6, 2019.

How did you know God was calling you to adopt?
Well we do not know that it’s God’s will. If we get to adopt in August, then we will know! 🙂

We had two babies back to back in 2016 and 2017, and we wanted more children but my pelvic floor was weakening and I was afraid of experiencing some health issues my mom had from a weak pelvic floor (she ended up getting a very painful surgery, and I’m hoping to avoid that!). We decided to pursue adoption for baby no. 3, and after seeking counsel we had no reason not to pursue it. But we had no guarantee that it would happen.

Please hear me, this is SUPER important. Just because you pay for a home study, apply to adopt, and do all the things — it does not mean it’s God’s will for you to adopt. Just because you get matched, it does not mean it’s God’s will for you to adopt. Nothing is guaranteed except what is written in God’s Word.

Our home study was live for one year (December 2018 to December 2019), and our plan was that if we didn’t get to adopt in that year, we would try to get pregnant and then come back to trying to adopt another time. This was very challenging for me. You put a lot of money and emotional investment into this process — I’m a researcher by nature, so I have been reading, reading, reading! Praying, seeking God, seeking counsel, more praying. But it wasn’t a guarantee. (It still isn’t!!) We have an enormous desire to adopt but we had to submit ourselves to God’s plan for our lives. I cannot put my hope in my circumstances. (This has been a tough lesson for me this spring!)

“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.”
Psalm 84:11

If the expectant mom we are currently matched with decides to parent this precious baby boy, we will have peace that God is sovereign and that He is good (Psalm 119:68). I know that He withholds nothing good from me, and so if we do not get to adopt, it’s because it wasn’t best for us. We can trust the Lord and His will for our lives.

​What truth did you run to while it’s been an emotional roller coaster?
Down the road I plan to share the verses that I was clinging to in the waiting period of being presented, before being chosen by our expectant mom. But for now, you can read the post I wrote about waiting — the waiting and not knowing if we were ever going to adopt, but wanting to so badly!

You can find all adoption-related posts in the “family” category on my blog. Thank you for your support on our adoption journey!