Many of us have expectations for our lives. There’s really not a way to avoid it completely. We make goals and plans with the expectation that it might be possible to achieve them. I’m planning this with the hopes that my situation will turn out like that.

Expectations can be tightly grasped with eyes fixed on the expectation itself, or they can loosely held with eyes focused on the Father.

Expectations that are unmet can be very disappointing, depending on how hard our grasp around the expectation is. The disappointing situations themselves can vary from mild (it rained at on beach day) to severe (infant loss). Please note that this particular blog is about disappointment and not about grief. If you are in a situation that is in the severe category, please note that much of what you are experiencing could be in the spectrum of grief, not disappointment.

What is the key to being able to hold my expectations loosely? How do I plan and move forward with my life, while still knowing that God could disappoint me in how He orchestrates it?

I believe that this is where we fight. And the biggest, most powerful weapon is God’s Word.

“For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right” (Psalm 84:11).

You can trust that God keeps His promises 100% of the time. And if you’re walking through a disappointment today, if you’ve been saved by grace, you can trust that God disappointed you because it was better than you receiving what you wanted.

(Please note: These are hard, hard truths to apply if you’ve experienced a devastating tragedy — and so if you’re in that spot and you’re reading this, I encourage you to find a biblical counselor in your area to help you wrestle through understanding God’s sovereignty and His goodness, and to help you process/grieve in a safe place.)

If you’re walking through disappointment today, here are Scriptures to help fuel your quiet time. I’ve found them balm to my soul recently, and I hope that they encourage you too.

O Lord, how long will You forget me? Forever?
How long will You look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day?

Turn and answer me, O Yahweh, my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.

But I trust in Your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because You have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me.

O God, You are my God; I earnestly search for You.
My soul thirsts for You; my whole body longs for You in this parched and weary land where there is no water.
I have seen You in Your sanctuary and gazed upon Your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise You!
I will praise You as long as I live, lifting up my hands to You in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise You with songs of joy.

O Lord, I give my life to you. I trust in You, my God!

Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.
Lead me by Your truth and teach me, for You are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in You.
Remember, O Lord, Your compassion and unfailing love, which You have shown from long ages past.
Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of Your unfailing love, for You are merciful, O Lord.

The Lord is good and does what is right; He shows the proper path to those who go astray.
He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them His way.
The Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all who keep His covenant and obey His demands.

Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.
My problems go from bad to worse. Oh, save me from them all!
Feel my pain and see my trouble. Forgive all my sins.
May integrity and honesty protect me, for I put my hope in You.

O God, ransom [me] from all [my] troubles.

(Psalm 13, Psalm 63:1-5, Psalm 25 various verses)

My good friend, Janet, spoke on this topic on Revive Our Hearts and it is EXCELLENT. If you’re really struggling with disappointments, listen to “Unfulfilled Longings” to receive excellent gospel-centered counsel on this topic!